>From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994.Date: Wed, 2 Mar 1994 14:58:28 -0500BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES, AND NO QUESTION SEEMS TO BE TOO BASICAUSTIN, Texas -  The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't gether new Dell computer to turn on.  Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp.technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the womanwhat happened when she pushed the power button."I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the womanreplied.  "Foot pedal?" the technician asked.  "Yes," the woman said,"this little white foot pedal with the on switch."  The "foot pedal," itturned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device that helps tocontrol the computer's operations.Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a low-tech worldout there.  While they are finally having great success selling PCs tohouseholds, they now have to deal with people to whom monitors and diskdrives are a foreign as another language."It is rather mystifying to get this nice, beautiful machine and not knowanything about it," says Ed Shuler, a technician who helps field consumercalls at Dell's headquarters here.  "It's going into unfamiliarterritory," adds Gus Kolias, vice president of customer service andtraining for Compaq Computer Corp.  "People are looking for a comfortlevel."Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techies needinghelp on complex problems.  But now, with computer sales to homes explodingas new "multimedia" functions gain mass appeal, PC makers say that as manyas 70% of their calls come from rank novices.  Partly because of thevolume of calls, some computer companies have started charging help-lineusers.The questions are often so basic that they could have been answered byopening the manual that comes with every machine.  One woman called Dell'stoll-free line to ask how to install batteries in her laptop.  When toldthat the directions were on the first page of the manual, says SteveSmith, Dell director of technical support, the woman replied angrily, "Ijust paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read a book."Indeed, it seems that these buyers rarely refer to a manual when a phoneis at hand.  "If there is a book and a phone and they're side by side, thephone wins time after time," says Craig McQuilkin, manager of servicemarketing for AST Research, Inc. in Irvine, Calif.  "It's a phenomenon ofpeople wanting to talk to people."And do they ever.  Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is inundated bysome 8,000 consumer calls a day, with inquiries like this one related bytechnician John Wolf: "A frustrated customer called, who said her brandnew Contura would not work.  She said she had unpacked the unit, pluggedit in, opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something tohappen.  When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, sheasked, 'What power switch?'"Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users.  So many people havecalled to ask where the "any" key is when "Press Any Key" flashes on thescreen that Compaq is considering changing the command to "Press ReturnKey."Some people can't figure out the mouse.  Tamra Eagle, an AST technicalsupport supervisor, says one customer complained that her mouse was hardto control with the "dust cover" on.  The cover turned out to be theplastic bag the mouse was packaged in.  Dell technician Wayne Zieschangsays one of his customers held the mouse and pointed it at the screen, allthe while clicking madly.  The customer got no response because the mouseworks only if it's moved over a flat surface.Disk drives are another bugaboo.  Compaq technician Brent Sullivan says acustomer was having trouble reading word-processing files from his olddiskettes.  After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnosethe problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with thediskette.  The customer's response: "I put a label on the diskette, rollit into the typewriter..."At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a technician's requestthat she send in a copy of a defective floppy disk.  A letter from thecustomer arrived a few days later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy.And at Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppyback in the drive and "close the door." Asking the technician to "holdon," the customer put the phone down and was heard walking over to shutthe door to his room.  The technician meant the door to his floppy drive.The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling.  A Dellcustomer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man wastrying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitorscreen and hitting the "send" key.Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so Delltechnician Gary Rock referred him to the local Egghead.  "Yeah, I got me acouple of friends," the customer replied.  When told Egghead was asoftware store, the man said, "Oh! I thought you meant for me to find acouple of geeks."Not realizing how fragile computers can be, some people end up damagingparts beyond repair.  A Dell customer called to complain that his keyboardno longer worked.  He had cleaned it, he said, filling up his tub withsoap and water and soaking his keyboard for a day, and then removing allthe keys and washing them individually.Computers make some people paranoid.  A Dell technician, Morgan Vergara,says he once calmed a man who became enraged because "his computer hadtold him he was bad and an invalid."  Mr. Vergara patiently explained thatthe computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be takenpersonally.These days PC-help technicians increasingly find themselves taking on therole of amateur psychologists.  Mr. Shuler, the Dell technician, who onceworked as a psychiatric nurse, says he defused a potential domestic fightby soothingly talking a man through a computer problem after the man hadscreamed threats at his wife and children in the background.There are also the lonely hearts who seek out human contact, even if ithappens to be a computer techie.  One man from New Hampshire calls Dellevery time he experiences a life crisis.  He gets a technician to walk himthrough some contrived problem with his computer, apparently feelinguplifted by the process."A lot of people want reassurance," says Mr. Shuler.