Title    : The Modern Software Manager
Original : I am the very model of a modern major-general
Group    : Gilbert and Sullivan
Author   : Brad Needham
Intro    :
Song     :

		    The Modern Software Manager


	   (to the tune of a similarly titled song from
	    Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance)
			  by Brad Needham


	      Manager:
     I am the very model of a modern software manager
     I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
     I purchased a computer that had megabytes of filing
	 space
     And only six months later heard complaints of its
	 compiling pace
     About this act I haven't even moments of remorsefulness
     I have the utmost confidence in engineers'
	 resourcefulness
     Though scheduling of time has been equated with a
	 lottery
     Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderie.

	      All:
     Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderie
     Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderie
     Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of
	 comraderaderie!

	      Manager:
     I cannot understand why my employees are infirminal
     I simply ask that ten of them share typing at one
	 terminal
     I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
     I am the very model of a modern software manager.

	      All:
     He's trimming back his budget to a point nobody can
	 endure
     He is the very model of a modern software manager.

	      Manager:
     When I discovered heavy use of text processing led to
	 ills
     Providing my subordinates excuses to slip schedules
     I fully analyzed the situation and I lost no time
     Administrating installation of this pretty paradigm:
     Immediate response must be considered just a luxury
     All word processing programs will be run each day from
	 dusk to three
     I cannot buy computers with the money for our creditors
     So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing
	 editors.

	      All:
     So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing
	 editors
     So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing
	 editors
     So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing
	 editeditors!

	      Manager:
     The influx of employees has amounted to an avalanche
     So I am asking everyone to get along with half a bench
     I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
     I am the very model of a modern software manager.

	      All:
     He's trimming back his budget to a point nobody can
	 endure
     He is the very model of a modern software manager.

	      Manager:
     In fact, when I have learned that "software tools" are
	 not mechanical
     "Computer operations" not an exercise tyrannical
     That "data flow" cannot be used to measure conductivity
     And "software automation" is the key to productivity
     When I'm aware my ignorance from Dijkstra back to
	 Babbage shows
     My software education is no more than any cabbage knows
     I'll be a software manager that during loud contention
	 hears
     The knowledge and experience proceeding from my
	 engineers.

	      All:
     The knowledge and experience proceeding from his
	 engineers
     The knowledge and experience proceeding from his
	 engineers
     The knowledge and experience proceeding from his
	 enginengineers!

	      Manager:
     But until then these budget slashes some consider
	 jealousy
     In actuality belie my unrestricted zealousy
     I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
     I am the very model of a modern software manager.

	      All:
     He's trimming back his budget to a point nobody can
	 endure
     He is the very model of a modern software manager.

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