Date   : Sat, 24 Aug 1985 20:10:04 EDT
From   : George R Famini <grfamini@crdc.ARPA>
Subject: Casey at the Byte

    I found the poem (?) in a recent MAD Magazine (no comments about my reading
habits, please), and thought it was enjoyable enough to share.  The issue I 
found this in has several "interesting" computer parodies.


                                George




               Casey at the Byte

              a poem by Frank Jacobs (from MAD Magazine no. 258, October 1985)

         (with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)



The meeting at the White House
    Wasn't going well that day;
The budget plan was lost,
    Thus causing ulcers and dismay;
And when Jones failed at the keyboard
    And Kowalski proved a dud,
One could sense some great disaster,
    Like an avalanche or flood.

"Don't panic," said the President,
    "Don't blab it to the press;
"It's true without the budget plan
    "The country's in a mess;
"Two other "aces" failed so far
    "To find just where it is,
"And so I've summoned Casey-
    "With computers he's a whiz"

A gasp was heard as Casey
    Made his entrance on the scene;
'Twas clear that he was just a lad
    No older than sixteen;
And yet despite his lack of years,
    One fact outshone the rest-
As a trouble shooting "hacker"
    His credentials were the best.

He boasted a degree from Yale,
    Plus two from M.I.T.;
His work with "backup", "RAM" and "track"
    Was marvelous to see;
The range of his computer skills
    Was hailed both near and far
From Commodore to IBM,
    From Wang to NCR.

There was ease in Casey's manner
    As he entered his commands;
One could sense some mighty power
    Was contained within his hands
With lightning speed his fingers moved
    To press each crucial key;
"The budget plan exists," he said.
    "It cannot hide from me."

With great persistense Casey toiled,
    And yet, upon the screen,
No buried data came to light
    From in the great machine,
Except for birthday greetings
    To a Congressman in Maine,
Two vetos and a slogan
    From the '84 campaign.

The strain now shows in Casey's eyes;
    He's aged a dozen years;
But then, at last, to joyful shouts,
    The budget plan appears!
And now he lifts his head in pride,
    A smile upon his face;
And now the mood is shattered
    As his elbow hits "ERASE".

Oh, somewhere there are nations
    Where the keenest minds prevail,
Where budgets can be balanced
    And the experts never fail;
And somewhere data's safely stored,
    Preserved beyond a doubt,
But no plan can save the Whit House-
    Klutzy Casey wiped it out.