Title    : SIGHUP Blues
Original : Bluebottle Blues
Group    : Milligan and Carbone
Author   : Russell Street <russells@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz>
Intro    : Adapted from the "Bluebottle Blues"
	    featuring Maurice Plonk and his Orchestra Fromage, with
	    Nick Rauchen conducting "The Ball's Pond Road, near the One
	    in Harmony".
	    In reality written by Milligan and Carbone, recorded 24/05/56.
Song     :


SIGHUP Blues
------------
By Russell Street (russells@ccu1.aukuni.ac.nz)

<Big musical introduction. Sound of door opening, and our
hero Process Bluebottle (P) runs up to microphone, where the
Kernel (K) is wait(2)ing.>


P:	PING 255.255.255.255! <boos, rasperberries>
K:	Just the process I've been looking for.
P:	Oh!
K:	<sings>
	Clamber into my disk heads, Fred
	Whence all but you have exec'd, Fred
	There is no contesting,
	I've no way of manefesting
	How much I'd prefer you dead, Fred
P:	Oh I'm glad you like me, my Kernel
	Because I trust you to.
K:	Gratifiy your wim, Jim.
P:	Jim? What happened to Fred?
K:	He mv'd his name.
P:	What to?
K:	Chunky.
	Tell me, can you catch Jim?
P:	No, Jim can not catch.
K:	Then open this named pipe, son
	On the file system, son
	Which I have carefully arranged
		so it will open up and throw you
		into thirty K of NULLs
		when you upset the pipe by reading
		from it, Jim.
P:	I say, it's not for deading me, is it Kernel?
K:	Oh course not, dear boy! Just read from it a bit further!
P: 	Righty-ho then.  Ahh. Here I am on the edge of the nice
		little named-type pipe.  It is a lovely day for
		a naughty pipe.  <CRUNCH!>
		
	YAHHH! You've swamped me.
	I do not like this game.
	
	<sings>
	I've got those "When I say I trust you I do not want to be KILLed
	because I do not like those kind of signals" Blues.
	I don't like naughty files that give my gets(3) binary data.
	(They say harm can come to a growing process like that)
	And I do not like SIGQUITs that longjmp me back to main()
	Out of my reniced batch queue
	I don't like being woken by nasty SIGALRM showers
	And I do not like being nutted by Eifel and Fortran programs
	So I do not want to be KILLed, HUPed, TERMed, QUITed, XCPUed
		INTed!
	I don't like that kind of type blues -- I don't like that
	I've got them SIGHUP Blues.
	
K: Still alive?
	Take this /dev/tty, pet.
P:	Oh tar(1).
K:	No, don't iocntl it yet, pet.
	<off> All right, now you can iocntl it.
P:	Are you sure I won't be KILLed or nothing, Kernel?
K:	<off> No, no -- don't be frightened!
P:	All right then, I'll just send a DUP to it,
	and .... < BOOOM>
	
	< over explosion >
	
	You rotten swine you!  You HUPed me again.
	I shan't play this rotten game no more.
	
	Closes open files, pages out memory
	And exists through little hole in Mail deamon security...
	
	<sound of disk head crashing>


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